The Universe is About Experience

Excerpt from "Adventures Beyond the Body" by William Buhlman

Journal Entry, October 24, 1992

I repeat my favorite affirmation aloud for five to ten minutes: “Now I’m out of body”.

As I drift off, I intensify the affirmations in my mind. I awaken to the sensations of strong vibrations surging through my body. Immediately I focus full attention to the idea of floating to my bedroom door. Within seconds I feel myself lift and float to the door. Then, with a sense of exhilaration, I walk through the door and into the living room. As I look around, I realize that I’m in my first (densest) energy-body and have a sudden overwhelming urge to explore. Almost shouting, I verbally make a firm request, “I want so see more.” Instantly, a sensation of rapid motion draws me inward. I feel as if I’m being drawn into a vacuum, and in seconds I’m in a new environment. I’m startled and blinded by the intensity of the surrounding light. When I instinctually attempt to shield myself from the radiation, I realize that my body is without form – no arms or legs, just pure energy. I try to comprehend that I have no shape whatsoever. I seem like light without distinctive outer form. My vision is endless.

All around, pure energy emanates; there are no shapes or forms, just radiation of light. I’m drawn to what appears to be a column of pure white light. As I move closer to the light, the sheer power of its radiation is overpowering. I stop and try to adjust. The energy is so intense it feels like the outer parts of me are being burned away. My entire outer self – my thoughts, fears, and concepts – is being incinerated by the light. At first, I try to shield myself. I surround myself with thoughts only to realize that they too are being burned away by the intensity of the light. At that moment, the light enters me like a warm liquid, permeating my body and mind. My entire being is filled with light, and every part of me seems to resonate at a new frequency. I relax and enjoy the sensation of pure energy flowing through me.

Deep within, I realize something of extreme importance is before me. There is something else within the column of light. No longer afraid, I have an overpowering desire to know and understand the light. I move closer and try to peer inside. The pure energy and power are beyond words. I feel like I’m standing next to a blazing white sun that radiates waves of light. Somehow I know that I’m safe, and I slowly move forward and touch the light. An intense surge of energy flows through my entire being. I’m suddenly immersed in a ocean of pure knowledge. I’m flooded with memories of all I’ve been, all I’ve done, all that I am. Everything is now. I’m overwhelmed by the absolute simplicity of it all. For the first time, everything is clear. Everything we are and need is already here. For the first time, I recognize that we have separated ourselves from our source. How foolish we are. We focus on decaying molecular forms when the true reality is always here, patiently waiting for us to open our eyes and see. An overpowering feeling of love, a deep feeling of compassion for everything that is, permeates my being. I realize that we are all interconnected in an ocean of living light. The separateness we feel is but the dense illusion of molecular form. My awareness comes alive with the realization that my mind and its capabilities are but another temporary vehicle of expression. We exist beyond thought, beyond time, beyond linear cause and effect.

I’m overwhelmed by endless waves of pure knowledge. My mind is filled beyond its limits, and I realize that this is more than I can ever hope to remember. I scream out, “I will remember this”. Instantly I’m snapped back into my body and attempt to open my eyes.

I’m unable to move and recognize that I’m in a cataleptic state. Slowly, I can feel numbness and tingling spread through my physical body. After about a minute, I can move my fingers and toes. I lie still and review the experience with a feeling of awe. I absolutely know that the column of light was really me – not just another part of me, but the pure me, the very essence of all I am. Is it possible that we are really that incredible? Now I feel separated and alone; yet, at the same time, I feel connected to something far greater than I’ve ever imagined. My mind races with realizations, more than I can begin to comprehend.

I now recognize that we as human beings have a natural tendency to attach labels to everything we experience and to filter it according to our physical concepts and beliefs. I wonder of all shapes and forms are really our mind’s interpretation of something else – something that exists beyond all form and substance; something so pure and ethereal as to be beyond our mind’s ability to classify and interpret. It’s possible that our recognition of this is a major step forward in and of itself. Maybe the constant infighting between different religions, faiths and sects would finally come to an end if we only recognized that all religious beliefs are the physical interpretations of mortals. It’s not absolutely clear that God does not care about our personal theology. Our physical beliefs are all rooted in temporary form and substance; they are but a passing moment in time.

What really matters is experience, spiritual experience. It appears that the purpose of the entire universe is experience – firsthand, gut-wrenching, personal experience. Nothing can replace it. It’s now clear that personal experience is the road to wisdom that we all share.

Excerpt from "Adventures Beyond the Body" by William Buhlman Copyright 1996
HarperSanFrancisco